That was easier than expected. But what were the odds of me running into Akatsuki so soon? Pulsing chakra through the tunneling tag, I resume walking forward as the tag extends the tunnel ahead of me while simultaneously sealing it closed behind me. Were any skilled sensors checking the ground right now, they’d be sensing a bubble of air moving in a straight line deep underground. But who would do that out here? *Did Hiruzen set me up?* No, he probably didn’t know something like the Akatsuki were here. Even if he did, I doubt he would kill me off just because he doesn’t like me. Deliberately killing one of his jonin and two of his genin for such a petty reason would only prove everything I said about his phony Will of Fire right. The tag stops tunneling, prompting me to place two fingers against it and fill it back up with chakra to repeat the process. I guess I should have noticed the red flag when the name of the country I was sent to spy on sounded so stupid. What kind of a country is called the Land of This, with a neighbor called the Land of That? Something with such terrible naming conventions had to have been part of the original story. My thoughts get interrupted by the faint feeling of a metaphysical thread being cut. Something that should only happen if… Oh. The corpse clone died. -=-=-=-=linebreak-=-=-=- **-{PoV: Corpse clone, moments earlier}-** My right arm goes limp, the kunai it held clattering to the dirt. I keep my functional arm gripping its wakizashi in a frontal location, ready to deflect additional senbon despite my body’s tremoring. Sasori sure likes his poisoned senbons. Another senbon aimed for my neck is deflected, the attempt so predictable that he must be toying with me. Probably pissed after the playing with dolls comment. Good. A puppet lunges for me from behind, my wakizashi slicing through its midsection and my mouth burning it to ash with a blast of flames. Running out of chakra. Body slowing down from poison. He must know this, which means he’s having fun. Good, that means he doesn’t know I’m gone. Sasori steps out from behind a tree ten meters ahead of me, facing me with that nearly expressionless stare of his. But I can see the smug mockery underneath, and the seething rage hidden underneath the underneath. Hopefully that’s the real Sasori. That’d be good. Although there’s still the chance his partner is following me, probably with some of those puppets backing him up. Can’t do anything about that though. Tilting his head ever so slightly, he speaks to me in a monotone voice. “What’s a Leaf nin doing in the Land of This? You entertained me, so if you answer my questions I promise I’ll kill you.” “Heh,” Cocking my head back with a grin, I respond with a non-answer to buy more time. “Dead if I speak and dead if don’t. Why would I tell you anything?” Sasori stands straighter and somehow gains an even more dispassionate look. “So, you think death isn’t a mercy?” Waving a hand forward, a generic bald puppet holding one of the hopeless genin I was assigned for this mission ambles forward, the puppet dragging the unconscious man along the ground by the hair. *The genin’s still breathing.* I see where he’s going with this. Sasori twitches a finger, almost definitely an unnecessary motion done purely for drama points, and the puppet impales a senbon down the back of the genin’s neck. Half a second later the genin wakes in shock. He manages to flail his arms against the puppet restraining him for all of a second before he clutches his head and starts screaming in agony. Blood spills out of his ears and his skin gradually takes on a bright red coloration with spots of sickly purple throughout, the genin squeezing his eyes shut and writhing in pain. With another dramatic flick of his finger, the puppet jabs a second senbon through the genin’s closed eyelid. Within three seconds the genin’s knocked out, his screams of pain silencing and the blood no longer pouring out his ears. The skin discoloration remains, however. Boy I feel bad for me if they catch me after this. Sucks to be you, me. Better keep that Escape Plan ready, because I doubt he’ll consider recruiting you like those demons on Earth did. Sasori returns to looking at me with that seething rage masked by smug cockiness that is in turned masked by apathy. I doubt he’ll accept it, but at least the offer alone will buy me time. “Well… You’ll kill me the moment I answer, assuming you even keep up your end of the bargain. So before I answer, how about a counter offer?” Sasori arches an eyebrow, but the speed at which his generic puppet turned to me with a new batch of senbons in its hands betrays his attempted nonchalance. Clearing my throat, I make my pitch. “You gotta admit, I did a pretty good job fighting back for a man who was essentially by himself against two S-Rank missing nin. That first puppet of yours was a real pain to get through. I doubt most jonin would’ve been able to handle it, let alone with that demoman backing you up. And seeing how the Leaf sent me here undermanned and on bad intel, they’ve essentially betrayed me. So, I don’t suppose you’ve got room in your missing-nin group for one more?” Sasori doesn’t even try to hide his now-genuine smugness now, although I can still see a foundation of seething rage underneath. Well, I tried. Sorry me, guess he aint gonna try recruiting you. He’s about to open his mouth, no doubt to let out some slam dunk of an insult, when a white spider on my lame side hops out from a tree and approaches fast. Too fast for me to nail it with a projectile before it’s within detonation range. *Deidara.* “Katsu!” *Shit.* I raise my left arm and spring a barrier with what little chakra I have left, shielding most of my upper body, but the explosion tears off my limp right arm and shreds chunks out of my legs. The force of the explosion knocks what’s left of me back several feet, my body rolling against the ground for another foot before coming to a stop in an unsightly heap facing away from the enemy. That last attack seems to seal the deal, my body broken to such an extent that all I can do is wait until it shuts down completely. Dispelling myself would reveal they’ve been tricked, and I need to buy as much time as possible. I also lack the chakra and additional biomass to conduct field repairs, although it’s not like I would reveal that my healing can work to such an extent anyways. Its bad enough they might discover my corpse clone gimmick. Regardless of this body’s demise, at least Deidara is here. Which means he didn’t find the real me’s trail. “Don’t look at me like that, explosions are true art!” Deidara exclaims proudly to Sasori. “Anyways, the genin I was interrogating already spilled the beans, so this guy doesn’t matter anymore. He’s a regular jonin from the Leaf named Shul, and he was sent here on a spying mission. Something about a daimyo’s kid being kidnapped or whatever. Doesn’t matter to us.” They haven’t realized I’m a fake. In a while longer, the real me should be long gone. “Must you always be so loud? And to call explosions art, don’t make laugh.” Sasori retorts, sparking a petty argument between the two over what constitutes ‘art’. It would be great if they leave without learning the truth. We’ve always wanted to fake our deaths and perfect the Escape Plan. What better cover story is there than being killed by Akatsuki, the up-and-coming super terrorists? The bickering suddenly stops, pulling me out of my thoughts. Did they notice? I hear the ground near them shift, like something slimy squirming out of the earth. The sound comes to a stop and a deep, hoarse voice growls from its direction. “You fools. That is a clone. The real one is escaping underground.” *Who’s voice is—* “Katsu!” -=-=-=-=Linebreak-=-=-=- **-{PoV: Shul, present moment}-** Whatever happened to it, it didn’t buy me nearly enough time. I’m still just close enough that they’ll probably detect me if I keep moving underground. Of course, I could get away if I just broke out and made a run for it, but getting away isn’t the problem here. The problem is that nowhere’s truly safe when Akatsuki has you marked. Not without a top-of-the-line protection detail. But even if Hiruzen did grant me such a thing — despite how much he dislikes me – I’d lose my privacy as a result. Some of my techniques would no doubt touch a sore sport for old Hiruzen after Orochimaru’s stunt, and most of my other techniques are ones I’d rather not advertise. There’s no point if Akatsuki know I survived. I have no choice but to sit here and conceal my presence until this has all blown over. Well, if I’m gonna be here for a long time… Withdrawing a variety of tags, brushes, and inkwells from my storage seal, I quickly slam the tags around to stabilize the tunnel while obfuscating my presence even further and then immediately get to work on my experimental fuinjutsu array. There’s no time for proofing, just do what seems correct and fucking pop it. I can’t escape these guys, even if I do they’ll hunt me down until I’m dead or worse, and Hiruzen won’t fucking care! Explosions start ringing out in the distance. Alright, there! That’s the dislocation part done. Now for the destination- A series of closer explosion loosens several rocks from the ceiling, one of them knocking into my inkwell and spilling sealing ink into the destination portion I was working on. *Shit!* No fucking time to restart! I’ll cut that chunk of earth out and replace it with a clean one, then re-draw the connecting lines- An explosion breaks a hole into the far end of my tunnel, the sun’s light illuminating the tunnel. Out of time, I quickly get seated within the center of the seal array for a hail mary. Bringing my hands up in front of me, I circulate my chakra and swiftly form the signs for Rat, Boar, Bird- Sasori crashes through the opening and immediately launches a senbon towards my neck, which I have no choice but to accept. -Dragon. Pulsing chakra through the seal array to activate it, it greedily begins devouring immense amounts of chakra from my battery seal. The sheer amount of raw chakra being consumed causes a blue haze to emit off of me and the seal. In an instant the first sequence finishes and the haze concentrates into a white outline of yang chakra. *Spirit anchored successfully.* Sasori’s false smirk shifts into abject fury when he notices I’m up to something again. He lunges forward, a palm outstretched towards me with a metal tube protruding from its center, while his other hand throws several senbon at me. The second sequence finishes as black yin chakra flares out out of the seal, smothering the yang in an additional layer of darkness. The senbon harmlessly bounce off the barrier of yin. *Matter anchored successfully.* Sasori’s palm is inches from my face and spraying purple gas out its tube when the third sequence begins, shunting me and the seal array through space to a destination I can only hope is safe. ___Chapter 2___ My outer coating of black yin chakra peters out, utterly spent after transporting me and the seal formation beneath me an unknown distance. No longer smothered by the yin’s darkness, my coating of white yang chakra glows brightly, illuminating the dark forest around me. *Senbon in neck. Remove. My hand snaps up to my neck and swiftly pulls out the senbon, tossing it to the ground. The seal array begins its final sequence. My white glow fades as excess yang chakra shoots off of me into the night sky, taking on the form of spiraling twin white dragons that bathe the forest in light. *Poison. Purge. Wrapping my hand around the point of contact and using medical jutsu to neutralize the poison, I nearly find myself overwhelmed by the sheer variety of toxins already spreading through me. Standing up and walking to a tree, I drop onto my ass and lean against it for support. The transportation seal and the wide slab of earth it was drawn on begins crumbling to dust, marking the completion of the final sequence. Who the fuck uses such a multi-coated senbon on a random jonin? I just had to piss him off, didn’t I. Well, at least it seems he wanted me alive, all of these toxins are nonlethal, mostly anesthetics. Hey, maybe he was gonna try recruiting me! Hah, no. He definitely just wanted to torture me. Keeping myself conscious and taking care of these toxins is a simple task without someone actively trying to kill me. Half a minute later, the incapacitating agents are fully neutralized. The numbing agents, however… These ones are more tricky, spread out as they are. Picking up the faint sound of a branch snapping in the distance, I can only chastise myself. Getting up to quietly walk away from the sound, but not directly opposite from it, I decide to let my medical seal deal with whatever minor toxins remain while I focus on stealth. I should have known my location would be given away by that light display. I can’t be getting sloppy just because I slipped out of the frying pan. On the bright side, they’re probably small-time bandits if they’re clumsy enough to alert me like that. No need to cause a scene, a walking pace should buy me enough time while I recover… Huh? I nearly stop in my tracks when I see two birds that almost perfectly resemble a Pidgey in a nearby tree, the pair of them staring at me. Rolling my eyes, I silently laugh to myself as I remember a crucial fact of the old world: shows ripped off each other all the time, especially as jokes. Guess I landed in an area where the Naruto series decided to rip off Pokemon. Very dangerous, wonder how their lawyers got away with that one. The forest gradually thins until I reach the edge, revealing a massive savanna. The openness would have concerned me, but I’m far more concerned by the creatures I see within the savanna. More pokémon. Everywhere I look, pokémon. A herd of tauros charging through the savanna far away. Another herd doing the same somewhere else in another direction. Doduo, rhyhorn and rhydon, exeggcute and exeggutor. Even a nidoking and nidoqueen, surrounded by nidoran and nidorino. Well damn. Maybe that rushed escape plan worked better than I had expected, maybe it really got me the fuck out of that ninja deathworld like I always dreamed it would. Well, even if not, I’m definitely nowhere near where I was before, so there’s nothing to fear. Only Akatsuki can threaten me, and they’ve definitely lost my trail now. No point trying to find my way back to the Leaf Village either, they’re probably keeping an eye on the area to merc my ass the instant I show up. I’m broken out of my thoughts as a lone rhyhorn stomps up to me, posturing itself as a mighty creature but also looking far more curious than it does aggressive. Adorable. It’s big enough to take up an entire king sized bed and it’s simply adorable. Getting down on one knee, I hold a hand out for it to catch my scent, confident that I’d be able to move out of the way should it attack. The rock puppy stares at me for several seconds like there’s not a single thought going on in the empty head of theirs, before slowly stomping up to me and licking the top of my hand. Not what I had intended, big dog, but that’ll do. I bring out my other hand to rub its flat stony head and they lean into it, no longer slobbering up my hand. Well, when one is petting a good dog, one must use both hands. I shake most of the slobber off with a flick of my wrist and begin scratching under his chin. The big dog loses itself in bliss, falling to its side and kicking a rear leg in the air while somehow wagging his stubby tail as if it’s not made entirely of stone. “D’aww, who’s a good stone puppy. Who’s the best little stone puppy in the whole gosh darn world?” Rhyhorn loudly barks in a way which sounds more like a bear than a dog. That might have thrown me off guard if I weren’t a professional cold blooded killer with magic powers. “Yes you are, the best puppy duppy in the whole gosh darn worl-” *Faint footsteps sound behind me.* That’s odd, though. There are no chakra signatures behind m- *there are no chakra signatures in front of me either. I immediately stand up and whirl around towards the treeline, withdrawing a wakizashi that I keep out of sight behind my back. I consider throwing a preemptive explosive kunai, but I figure it’s best to not do that for diplomacy’s sake. No need to scare them if they’re friendly, no need to take a risk if they’re not. *Multiple sets of footsteps.* Rhyhorn notices his lack of pats and starts whining, which he soon stops doing once several familiarly-clothed thugs step out from the treeline. All dressed in blacks and grays, each with blacks caps and the ever-recognizable red R printed on the fronts of their shirts. One of the grunts step forward, casually tossing a Pokéball up and down. “Well well, what do we have here. Some Fuchsia ninja wannabe?” Rhyhorn rolls back onto his feet and steps between me and the Rocket grunts, threatening them with a low growl. The lead grunt merely smirks. “And here I thought we were the only ones who snuck in here tonight. Was that light show your doing? Must’ve been a rare pokémon to make such a scene.” He throws his Pokéball up high, where it pops open and spills red mass of light even higher up. The light comes together into the form of a hovering Golbat, now staring down at us menacingly. “How about you be smart hand it on over without a fuss? We’ll also take that large rhyhorn off your hands. It must cost you an awful lot to feed them after all, but don’t worry, we’ll take care of that for ya!” Rhyhorn digs their feet into the ground like a bull preparing to charge, roaring like a bear all the while. None of them have chakra signatures. But can I still use genjutsu? Let’s give it a try on that Golbat… Yep, it works. Felt really fuckin strange, though. The golbat suddenly spins 360 degrees and flies away backwards. *Heh.* “Wha- HEY! Golbat! Get back here!” With incredible mental clarity he brings his Pokéball up to return his golbat, somehow already realizing shouting is a lost cause. *Nope.* Golbat dives out of the way after another ping of genjutsu, causing the red beam to shoot harmlessly through the space above its head. His comrades barely even try to hide their laughter, openly snickering at their teammate’s failure. I join in on their mockery. “Y’know, I think that pokémon wasn’t a big fan of you. Are you sure I can trust you with my rhyhorn and my incredibly rare pokémon when you can’t even handle an overgrown zubat?” He turns to look at me in outrage, then slams his now useless Pokéball back onto his belt. “Don’t get cocky! Just for that, we’re not playing nice anymore! Everyone, take this chump down!” The other grunts’ laughter takes on a more malicious tone. They reach to their belts in unison and toss their Pokéballs into the air, releasing a swarm of zubat and rattata, along with a single ekans and a koffing. Ever the spoilsport, I slam another wave of genjutsu onto each of their pokémon. Lo and behold, these new pokémon start running away too. Hah! Oh, think you guys can recall them back? Behold their evasive maneuvers! Your return attempts are useless! Oh man, I haven’t had this much fun since I first hit jonin and could fuck around with my prey however I wanted. Sure, this is just genjutsuing weak bandits, but it feels *fresh* doing it to these chumps! It’s even better that these Rockets have no idea what’s happening. Even highway bandits back in the last world would have a few people who knew what genjutsu was. I feel like a god again! “Hahahaha!” Rhyhorn raises his head in the air triumphantly, seeming to interpret all the pokémon fleeing as his doing. Oh my god he’s too cute. Kneeling at his side, I give the good rock puppy his due reward of pats and scritches. “Such a good boy! You scared those mean pokémon off so good, yes you did! D’awww who’s the bestest boy in the world!” Their cohesion by now is utterly shattered. Most of the grunts have split away to chase after their escaping pokémon, but a few apparently stuck around to sneer at me. They recognize they’re defeated, but still have the gall to linger? I have, at least, one large rhyhorn that could kick each of their asses, to say nothing of my own abilities. Have they no fear? Their lead grunt speaks up for the rest of them. “Th-this isn’t the last you’ve heard from us! Your training career is over, you hear me! Once the boss hears about you, you’re toast!” I quickly cast a genjutsu on Rhyhorn to spare his innocent little mind from witnessing what comes next. Projecting some killing intent their way, I reveal my blade. “Then it’s good your boss will never hear from you again.” Lead Grunt’s eyes and mouth go wide as he takes an unsteady step back, the others doing much the same with choked shouts of fear mixed in. I take a few slow steps toward them, giving my blade a few spins in the process. “Tonight, each of you will die.” I ease up my killing intent on all but one of them, allowing the rest of the grunts to scatter. I’ll have some fun hunting them down tonight. I probably *should* be more cautious since I’m in a new world and all, but, well, so far I’m not impressed by their strength. If it was this easy to take down an entire squad of professional criminals, what’s the worst they could do? Mewtwo, I guess, but from what I remember he’s not loyal to them, and even while he worked with them Giovanni only ever used him in the most sanitized environments like gym matches and catching herds of tauros. I doubt I’ll see Mewtwo even if I’m a bit early in the timeline. Now the sole target of my killing intent, Lead Grunt trips and falls on his ass. He starts blubbering incoherently on the ground in fear, barely managing to squeeze out a “P-please!” as he raises his trembling arm between us like a shield. As if his flesh and bone could stop my steel that’s been folded one gorillian times. I lick the flat side of my blade. *Not making that mistake a second time.* “Your corpse will make a nice addition to my collecti-” The soft thud of a foot hitting dirt sounds off from the treeline’s direction. I almost reflexively throw an explosive kunai at the interloper, but I manage to restrain myself, not wanting to enter *kill-on-sight* mode just yet. I count myself lucky for holding back when I see exactly *who* approaches. A man in purple ninja gear steps out, pulling a red bandanna off his mouth and revealing his face. “That won’t be necessary. I will handle their arrests, there is no need for bloodshed.” *Ah.* “And you would be… Koga. How convenient of you to appear just in time to save these ***scum***. Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think you were in league with them. That’s not the case though, right?” I pull a kunai from my storage seal and throw. The blade shoots past Koga like a bullet, trimming a small portion of black hair off the top of his head and making the Rocket grunt pass out in a puddle of his own piss. “Because if I were to find out you were, and that these ***animals*** didn’t end up locked in a cage like they deserve, well…” I tilt my head innocently, tapping my chin with my free hand while I casually twirl my wakizashi in the other. “I’m not quite sure what I’d do.” He slowly moves a hand to his belt of Pokéballs as if I wouldn’t notice. I make an exaggerated motion of looking down to the hand over his belt, then back to him. “Say, you had a daughter, didn’t you?” I snap my fingers as if I just realized something. “Her name, it was Janine, wasn’t it?” His eyes go wide in alarm, but he otherwise maintains a stoic mask. “That will not be necessary. I promise you these criminals will face the sentences they deserve.” “Will they though?” I look back down and resume petting my rhyhorn. Thanks to my genjutsu, Rhyhorn’s wholly unaware of the darker events taking place and he’s fully embracing my affection with not a care in the world. “I’ve come to discover that these Rockets have a great deal of influence in this region. So much in fact that Rockets just happen to mysteriously vanish from their prison cells all the time, only to be caught again some weeks later and letting the process repeats itself! Now, using this big human brain of mine, I’ve narrowed it down to meaning one thing… Somebody with power is letting them out!” I have no idea if that’s true or not, but I wouldn’t doubt it. I give him the crazed smile of a killer who’s just snapped. “And would you look at that! Someone with power in Kanto is standing right before me— and a Gym Leader no less! Surely you have some leads, right? Surely you’ve done something to take them down, right? You’re a ninja, you uphold justice from the shadows, right?” I body flicker right in front of him, looking down at the much smaller and weaker nin. “Right?” His face is one filled with fear. *Good.* But he’s smart enough to not make any stupid movements. *Very good.* “I want each of these ***monsters*** locked up. If your laws are such that they will receive sentences of less than one year in prison, I demand that you break a major bone in a leg or arm each. I know how many of them there were, so if you fail to catch even a single one… Am I understood?” His mouth shakes but words fail to come out. Instead he nods once. *Such a good little ninja.* I innocently smile at him like I’m teaching another dumbass genin who’s really getting on my nerves but sadly also one I can’t afford to scare away just yet. “Good. Find me tomorrow when you’re done. We need to talk about Kanto’s… crime problem.” I flicker back to Rhyhorn and kneel down to his side. “Well you better get going, Koga. It would be a shame if you missed one unintentionally, because I’ve been in a very a bad mood lately.” Complete lie, I’ve never been happier. He rigidly nods once more before releasing an ariados. With a silent gesture from Koga, the ariados partially wraps the lead grunt in silk and secures them onto its back. Koga and Ariados then rush off into the forest where the rest of the grunts went. I hear another pop and shortly after see a crobat take to the skies, the bat pokémon clearly signaling things to Koga below. Such a dutiful little nin. I wish all my genin were even half as obedient. Now, where was I? Oh right. “Who’s a good boy? You are, yes you are!” ___chapter 3___ “I assure you, ma’am, that he’s a very good boy who wouldn’t even harm a Caterpie. Just look at him! Smile for the pretty lady, Rhyhorn!” Rhyhorn takes a moment to process my words, then closes his eyes and mouth to give a big happy smile for Officer Jenny. “See? The goodest boy!” Jenny looks down at my rock puppy in sympathy. While she’s distracted I once again try putting Officer Jenny under a genjutsu, fully expecting another failure, but to my surprise it actually takes hold this time. I have little clue *why* it worked now but not the three times I tried it on her before, but hey, I can find some lowlife to experiment with later. Kanto should be *full* of people nobody would miss. Jenny bites her lip in self-doubt. “Even so, I still don’t see a Pokéball on you, mister. Large pokémon without a registered Pokéball aren’t permitted within the city.” She cocks her hip to the side and tries to look tough, but I can tell she doesn’t agree in spirit with the law as written, at least in this case. “Oh, that’s what this was about? Why didn’t you just say so? I have it right here!” I hold out an empty hand towards Officer Jenny, fingers slightly cupped as if holding a ball. Her eyes glaze over as she looks at my hand, likely screaming internally as her face lights up red in embarrassment. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I somehow didn’t see that Pokéball on your belt!” She waves her hands in the air. “Alright, alright you can go. Again I’m terribly sorry! I’ll ask Nurse Joy to give you a free meal in her center’s cafeteria as an apology. I’m so sorry, I usually don’t mess up like this!” I nod understandably, acting like I didn’t just con her. “We’re only human after all, and it’s proof you’re a good person by making up for your mistake. This is precisely why Jennies are so respected around the world. Wave goodbye to the nice lady, Rhyhorn!” She fans her hand in the air, embarrassed. “Oh I’m just doing as mom taught me.” Rhyhorn finishes processing what I said, then clumsily leans to the side so he can wave a leg at Jenny. “Sorry again, and enjoy the rest of your day!” Officer Jenny walks away, leaving us in the nearly empty street. “What a nice officer.” I say, keeping my gaze locked to the sky as I idly stroke Rhyhorn’s head. “It’s truly a mystery how Kanto has a terrible crime problem when the police are such honest workers, isn’t it, Koga?” I speak those last few words with extra venom, prompting Koga to step out of a nearby alley and hopefully smashing whatever pride he had in his pitiful stealth abilities. “There was not a Pokéball in your hands. Yet she acted as if there was.” He says, avoiding eye contact by staring at the guilty hand. “Are you sure those are the words you should be saying to me right now?” I stand to my full height and turn to Koga, once again dwarfing him by a significant margin. I would prefer to stand tall all the time but that makes me stand out, and we all know what happens to the nail that stands out. Hunching all the time makes me feel like a fucking goblin, but it’s worth it for the safety— wait a second, I’m not in the shinobi world anymore. Fuck it. From now on I’m standing tall. Koga coughs into a closed fist. “Right. Apologies. The criminals are being dealt with. As they were found trespassing on a nature preserve, and due to their affiliations with Team Rocket, they are each facing sentences of at minimum two years in prison. Is this satisfactory?” He’s still avoiding eye contact. *Smart man.* Respect is very important in our cultures, the last thing you want to do is disrespect a nin who could disappear you in an instant. “That’s good enough for now.” I dismissively wave a hand to the side, before projecting a smidgen of killing intent his way. “But we had more than just that to discuss, remember?” He stiffens up. “Yes. That I remember.” “Good! I’ll let you lead me to where we’ll have the talk. Remember, it needs to be a quiet place~!” His eyes go wide, seemingly recognizing the hidden implication that *there’s not a goddamn thing he can do to take me down even if he got to choose the time and place.* “Well little ninja, lead the way!” I cheerily command. His options are honestly quite limited. With Rhyhorn following us he can’t exactly lead us down any narrow passages or into any high-class establishments, and Koga wouldn’t dare suggest I put Rhyhorn in a Pokéball or otherwise dismiss him. So I’m not surprised when we round a street corner and a traditional Asian-style walled compound comes into view, the big Pokéball symbol on the front gate making it clear that this is the Fuschia Gym. This one is several times larger than the other compounds I’ve seen within the city, probably even big enough to fit one or two of America’s own iconic Shopmarts. A Japanese castle-tower well over a hundred feet tall rests inside, large enough to peer over every nearby building. Only the city’s skyscrapers far in the distance dwarf the structure, and I can’t help but wonder if Koga’s family has put pressure on the city to keep it that way. Koga’s gait seems to exude more confidence as we near the Fuschia Gym. Is he putting on a strong front to keep people from growing suspicious, or does he have something planned? Oh boy, if this turns out to be one of those versions of Koga that *did* side with Team Rocket and he’s *stupid* enough to try ambushing me in his own gym, I’ll be so disappointed. After all the smart calls he’s made so far it would be such a *waste* if he suddenly decided to throw his life away. I’m tempted to try using genjutsu on him to put myself in a better position of control, but I’m a bit hesitant to trust genjutsu after Officer Jenny casually resisted several of my attempts earlier. It worked like a charm against those Rocket pokémon earlier, are humans just more resistant in this world? Perhaps officers are trained in mind protection, what with all the psychics about? Whatever, questions for later. If the fear those Rockets and Koga displayed last night was any indication, I don’t particularly need genjutsu. “I ask that you do not cause a scene.” Koga says as we draw closer to the building, not turning around. “It is not uncommon for a Gym Leader to be escorting another for business purposes. Let them believe it is so.” “Awww, Koga. You seem to be mistaken.” I say casually, enjoying the sudden rigidness in Koga’s movements as we near the front gate. “This *is* business. We’re *ninja*. We deal in *blood*.” Koga freezes for an almost imperceptible moment, but continues as if nothing happened. If he hesitated for a moment longer I could have asked *him* to not make a scene, but alas, he’s not that easy to push around. *Which only makes it more fun.* I put any more teasing on hold as we finally reach the front gate. An adult nin standing watch by the entrance gives a salute as Koga casually leads us through the compound’s entrance, allowing me to take in what lies behind the walls. Well, it’s not much. Immediately past the front gate is a large reception building that seems to take up the entire front of the compound, with extensions built in the stretch from nearly one end of the compound to the other. Dozens of people are loitering inside behind the glass pane windows, but the front entrance isn’t our objective. “Alright Rhyhorn, go on back to our little house, okay? The grown ups are gonna have a long talk, so I might be a little late!” Rhyhorn gives me a sad growl and bumps into my leg affectionately, then turns around and leaves the compound. Now it’s just me, Koga, and our not-so-hidden friend. Koga beats a left and continues following the compound’s perimeter wall. The left path curves inwards around a large boulder, and then another, ensuring that no one can see much from the entrance. We go deeper into the compound, passing through a couple alleys. People and pokemon can be heard training in groups, but again, I’m not here for a tour. I’m here for business. We soon reach a fairly large but otherwise nondescript pavillion near the back of the compound. It’s not the closest building to the rear, but still close enough to be well out of the way of the more public going-ons. Koga steps up the small wooden steps to open the door, but I flicker ahead of him and open the door an instant before he touches it. I enter, not even needing to turn around to know that this breach of conduct had an effect on him. I scan the japanese-style room as I walk, checking for any traps or hidden shinobi. Heh, you think you can hide those little nins from me, Koga? Even without sensor abilities, such cheap hidden doors in the ceiling and floor would never fool a Konoha Jonin. And is that… He brought his daughter. How quaint. I step around the center table in the main room and take a set on the mat that is usually reserved for the host. Koga receives a warm, beaming smile from me as he’s forced to approach the inferior position, knowing better than to make a complaint. “So kind of you to visit, dear Koga.” I say jovially, like an old man welcoming a friend he hasn’t seen in many years. A cup of tea appears in my hands in an instant, courtesy of my storage seal, and I take a politely short sip. “Ahh, a cup of tea in the presence of good friends is the height of pleasure.” I set the tea down with grace, then clear my throat. “So, Koga. I’m sure you did not visit dear old me simply to say hello. Tell me, what is it that concerns you?” Koga, seated across from me, considers his words carefully. “… You wished to talk about Kanto’s crime problem.” “Oh, that’s right! I did mention that didn’t I?” I lean forward, placing both my elbows on the table. “Well, go on then!” I half-whisper like I’m at a schooltable helping to spread some juicy gossip. “Tell me all about it, tell me how Kanto is so rife with crime! With good people like you in charge, why, it just seems so strange!” Koga hides it well, but I can see the nervousness creeping through his body language. “They have powerful backers. Many who investigate their backers disappear.” “You mean Giovanni’s still getting away with it?” I tilt my head with a smile, enjoying Koga’s eyes widening for an instant before he returns to his calm facade. “You’d think someone who’s a gym leader would be under more scrutiny. Very strange, very strange!” I continue before Koga can get a word in. “And what about the Champion? Or the Elite 4? Surely they’re doing something about it. Why, if I were in one of their shoes, I’d be assembling a team to investigate and deal with matters like this. Maybe even name it interpol!” “How did you—” Koga composes himself. “That is classified information. How did you know of that?” “Oh, I have my ways.” I smile with my teeth. “But that’s besides the point, Koga. What will you do with this information I have provided you?” “… I will inform the champion and have him—“ “Bambam! Wrong!” I cross my hands in an X. “You can’t know what will happen if you inform the champion. If even a fellow gym leader is a traitor, who knows who else is? After all, how could a gym leader get away with so much if the champion wasn’t at least partially complicit?” I shake my head with a smile like I had just watched a kid make a fool of themselves. “No, that’s not an option. The only one you can trust is yourself.” Koga waits for me to continue, but I don’t. “… And what can I do about this?” I give him a looky of pity. “Oh Koga. You’re a ninja, aren’t you? Surely you remember what a ninja does.” His eyes briefly lose focus before he refocuses on me. “The war is over. There is no need for our—“ “On the contrary, Koga, peacetime is when ninja are needed more than ever. A single knife in the dark can prevent a hundred thousand swords in the light.” He processes my words for a moment. “There is truth in that… So you mean to say that in eliminating Giovanni, countless others would be saved, and possible war prevented?” “It’s often greedy men who spark the most terrible of wars, dear Koga. He already has enough power to kill anyone who comes too close to discovering him. He’s just a few steps away from ruling Kanto entirely. What do you think he will do then, Koga? Will he stop there? Has any madman ever settled for *enough* power?” “… No.” “Then you know what you must do.” I say, then lean back and down the rest of my tea. “That does not explain your actions.” Koga says brazenly. “Why are you here? Why have you informed me of this? How can I know your information is true?” “Not telling you, because I felt like it, verify it yourself.” I list off casually. “Why do you not eliminate him yourself? You have demonstrated that you have the capability.” “Because, Koga,” I begin without a smile, looking him in the eye. “I *hate* when people do nothing as the world burns around them. All evil needs is for good people to do nothing. You have a crime problem that’s spiraling out of control? Fucking *do something* about it.” “Besides,” I tack on. “Kanto isn’t my home. I care no more for your people than you care for Orre’s people.” “Why intervene at all then?” “Were you not listening?” I leer at him. “War, Koga. War. If Kanto starts a new series of war it will destabilize the world. A destabilized world leads to agitated legendaries or super weapons that can wipe entire regions clean of all life. Now, I don’t know about you, but I quite like knowing that I won’t suddenly be caught in a cataclysmic blast that will destroy a whole region or possibly the entire world. Do you have any idea how many times humanity has been reset back to the stone ages because of war or legendaries going berserk?” Well, most of what I said was true. But really it’s because I don’t know if Mewtwo is currently with Team Rocket, and I’d rather not chance that. I’m tough, yeah, but am I Mewtwo-tier tough? Who can say. At least with a rampaging Moltres I can be confident in escaping and it eventually losing interest, but Mewtwo seemed like the type to *obsess* over these things. Y’know, I should probably warn him about that. “Don’t get any funny ideas about marching straight into his home, either.” I say sternly. “I’ve got reason to believe Giovanni has a *powerful* psychic under his control. I don’t care how good you think your stealth is, it will probably detect and crush you like a tin can. Wait for Giovanni to make a public appearance and do the deed then.” “… Giovanni does not make public appearances. Nor does he face all challengers at his gym. Most badge battles are delegated to one of his higher ranked trainers.” *Excuse me?* Koga continues. “He only appears to attend the occasional meeting between gym leaders, the Elite 4, and Champion. He allegedly also attends the Silph Co board meetings, but I have no verified that.” I look at Koga like he’s an idiot. “You’re telling me this guy is a ghost who only ever shows up to eavesdrop on the most powerful people in the region, *and none of you suspected him?* Holy fuck, I was told that your region was a backwater shithole full of idiots, but god damn. You’re all stupid as fuck.” I point to each hidden person in the room. “Get these clowns down here right now. I need to see just what kind of low-grade shitty excuses for ninja I’m dealing with.” Koga pauses briefly, probably wondering if I’m bluffing, before shaking his head and tapping the floor in a rhythmic pattern. Several individuals in dark purple ninja attire that conceals their body drop down or crawl out of the floorboards and fall into a kneel behind Koga. Some of them are shaking, although whether it’s in fear or rage I can’t tell. Possibly both. “Let’s begin with a hypothetical. Let’s presume that you were so terrified of me that you had foolishly left no one trustworthy posted outside the building to keep watch. Say there was a team rocket agent hiding outside this room, and he had heard our entire conversation. What would you do, Koga?” “That is a—!” Koga turned around sharply and flashed a hand signal, and two of his ninja troop made to move—but suddenly the door burst open. The corpse of a man in full black clothing flew inside, rolling a couple feet before coming to a stop just before Koga’s ninja troop. Another me walks in calmy. He kneels beside the body and plucks his kunai out of the dead man’s skull and looks at the group of so-called ninjas. “This is what you should do.” The other me says, pointing at the corpse. “You eliminate the problem quickly and efficiently.” I tilt a hand to the side despite knowing none of their eyes are on me. “Or I suppose you could have let him get away, followed him to wherever his boss was, then capture the both of them and bleed them for every drop of intel they have. But, well, what can I say?” My shadow clone continues after me with a smirk. “I’m a sucker for theatrics.” Then vanishes in a puff of smoke. “So!” I clap my hands to get their attention, but only Koga turns to face me. The rest are either staring numbly at the body or vomiting on the floor. At least the latter were wise enough to remove their face masks first. “Lessons begin tonight. I can see that you clowns will need quite a lot of work before you can become real ninja, so prepare to be put through hell. You’ll thank me when it saves your life. Don’t want to end up like that guy, do you?” Koga glares fiercely at me, no doubt furious that I’m the reason his daughter is spilling her breakfast on the floor. But after looking to the dead Team Rocket agent on the floor, the one he hadn’t even known was in his compound, who could have possibly gotten to Janine, his expression softened. Slightly. “I’ll meet you all here tonight. No absences are allowed, and I don’t care about any excuse you might have. If anyone tries to skip class I’ll hunt you down myself. And a little heads up, you don’t want me to do that! Tata!” I give Koga the jazz hands and flicker out through the open doorway, reappearing in an alley somewhere in the city. “Nailed it?” The other me asks, standing up after giving Rhyhorn a session of pats filled with plenty of goodboy’s. “Nailed it.” We slap hands and the other me vanishes in a puff of smoke. *Never gets old.* Rhyhorn looks around in confusion, no doubt wondering where the second me went. “Come on boy, we gotta go get some nice paper and ink to form our contract. Then we’ll be partners forever!” Rhyhorn bumps into my leg, growling happily. Such a good boy! -=-=-=-=-=-=Linebreak-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- “I don’t want to go! I don’t—I don’t want to!” Janina cries into her pillow. “Janine…” Koga says softly. “You heard what he said. He expects everyone who was present to attend.” “You saw what he did!” She snaps her head away from the pillow and faces her father, tears streaming down her face. “That man, he—he’s dead! He killed him! He’s a murderer!” Koga sighs, then adopts a stern look. “Janine!” He says sternly. “I have done far worse in the war. We would not still be alive if I and the others who fought with me did not do what was necessary!” “But there is no more war! Why—why do we have to-!” “Team Rocket is killing innocent people as we speak.” He said, and Janine went stiff. “We are the only ones who can protect the people. If we do nothing, Team Rocket will only continue to commit worse and worse evils.” Koga sighs, remembering the dead man who had snuck into their compound with blades and poisons hidden on his person. “I did not even notice a Team Rocket agent had snuck into our compound. Do you know how much that terrifies me? That a killer from Team Rocket was this close to my daughter, and I hadn’t even known about it?” He shakes his head. “I do not want to lose you, Janine. I have already lost so much. I will not lose you too.” “Then I, I shouldn’t go. That will just get me involved, make me a target and—“ “*Janine*.” He says, putting a hand to her shoulder. “I am the Fuschia City Gym Leader. You are my daughter. You were *always* a target.” Janine shook, her breathe getting caught in her throat as realization began to finally dawn on her. “You saw how proficient he was. With his training, I… I know I will not lose you.” Janine sniffles and nods. Koga pulls her into an embrace, helping her shed the last few tears. “Be strong, Janine. Be strong for me. Be strong for yourself.” “Y-yes, dad. I, I will…” ___Chapter 4___ The group of clowns in ninja gear startle upon my sudden arrival. “Kept ya waiting, huh?” I make a show of counting everyone in the room. “And everyone’s here, great! Looks like we’ll be skipping pain tolerance training for today.” I clap my hands together, eliciting a strong reaction of fear from most people in the room. “So, let’s just jump right into it! We’ll start with a challenge: find and defeat every single one of my doubles that are hiding within this building before 8 am. You aren’t allowed to leave the building, but don’t worry, neither are any of me. Anyone who does leave the building will get to skip straight to pain tolerance training. Oh, and if any of you damage the building too much or otherwise cause such a ruckus that those outside grow suspicious, then you all fail. Any questions before we begin?” Koga speaks up first. “What is the purpose of this lesson?” “To test your abilities, and to show how far you all have to go.” I answer. A particularly brave clown raises his hand. “May we use our pokémon?” “Of course! In fact, the more the merrier. Just remember to keep the mayhem to a minimum. I have dopplegangers hanging around outside, too, so don’t think you’ll get away with some explosions just because Koga told the rest of the gym personnel not to disturb him.” “And if we pass?” “Then you’ll have demonstrated at least some level of ability and we’ll move on to the real lessons.” I wait a moment for any more questions, but none come. “Well then, if that’s all… let the games begin!” I snap my fingers and immediately dispel myself. “Where did he go!?” “He just vanished!” “It’s what he did before!” “Crobat!” Koga yells as he releases his partner from their ball. “Find them!” -=-=-=-=-=-=Linebreak-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Rhyhorn stamps his paw on the thick sheet of paper, leaving behind a red pawprint and finalizing the summon contract. “Such a tough boy! You took that needle like a big strong Rhydon and didn’t even cry, so brave! So fierce!” Rhyhorn raises his chin and growls in pride, and I can’t help but pet the good boy for his incredible bravery. There’s a tickle in my chakra, and memories suddenly come rushing into me. I glance in the direction of the gym. “Those poor clowns. They should have asked more questions.” Shadow clones are such bullshit. I’m way southeast of Fuschia in some mountainous wildlands, closer to Stone Town than I am Fuschia city, and yet the memories from a clone all the way in Koga’s Gym can *still transfer* to me. You’d think such an overpowered ability would have been spammed in the Narutoverse, but no, nobody ever did. Sure the chakra cost was high, but most chunin and jonin could make at least one or two. That’s one or two expendable glass cannons you can send wherever you want, and the intel return is almost perfect. Course, there’s the downside that it makes you vulnerable since your chakra’s split with each of the clones, but when you’re in the safety of your own village and you’re not a high-profile target that has to worry about assassinations why wouldn’t you use it? It’s the ultimate tool for patrol and spying. Not like I was stupid enough to tell that to anyone. Knowledge is power. It’s the whole reason I spent so much time figuring out how to make my corpse clones. The memory transfer is borderline non-existent and I only get notified when one dies if I’m nearby, which might seem to work contrary to the whole knowledge is power thing, but feeding your enemies false knowledge also grants power. Corpse clones can take quite a beating and break apart just like a real body would, *and* they don’t go poof when they’re destroyed. The result? Suckers would destroy a corpse clone and think they’ve killed me. The perfect way to lower an enemy’s guard. Orochimaru somehow found out about this and started hunting me. He thought I had mastered the art of immortality that he was pursuing and wanted it for himself. He captured a corpse clone, thought it was me, let his guard down because he thought my method was the same as his, and paid for it with his life. … Probably. You never know with that snake. That might be why I ran into the Akatsuki, actually. But how the fuck did they know where I was afterwards? I shake my head and return to the present. “So boy, you remember why we’re here right?” He stares dumbly at me, and after several seconds he nudges his horn towards the roll of paper I’m holding. “That’s right!” I smile. “And do you remember what we were going to do afterwards?” His blank stare is much longer this time. All three of his braincells are firing full cylinders, trying their hardest to form his 10th coherent thought of the day. A flash of determination shines in his eyes when he seems to remember. He pivots his whole body and rushes ahead with a roar, charging for the nearest boulder. A light-brown sheen of energy forms around him. The energy coating his horn meets the boulder first and immediately a web of cracks form all along it. Rhyhorn’s momentum slows for a fraction before the boulder caves in, shattering in an explosion of shards. Huh, that was High Horsepower. “That’s right!” I cheer. “We’re training!” He gallops back to me like a fat bear, growling excitedly, and I offer him a blue oran berry once he nears. He takes my entire hand in his mouth and pulls back, exchanging my berry for a large helping of slobber. Well, at least you don’t have to be *smart* to be *strong*. Even Naruto managed it. Sure, he was the reincarnation of ninja jesus, and had a powerful bloodline that enhanced his chakra, and had a chakra beast that further enhanced his chakra, and got to use hundreds of shadow clones to train while his peers couldn’t even use a single one… Okay, maybe the orange frogboy isn’t a good comparison. Something more native then? Ash was pretty dumb in the first generation, yeah, but he still managed to bag 8 badges and get decently far in the indigo conference. If he could do it, then Rhyhorn can too. Especially since he’s got me, someone who has experience with training a bunch of hollow-headed child soldiers. Rhyhorn stomps the ground in happiness, evidently done with his snack. “Alright boy!” I stomp the ground while forming a hand sign, and a dozen pillars made of hard earth rise from the ground in a line. “You’re so strong that one little boulder wasn’t enough for you!” I point dramatically at the line of pillars. “Go, Rhyhorn! High Horsepower through those pillars, bring them all down!” “GRRROARRR!” He turns and charges with the same brown sheen coating him. This one might be a bit more difficult for him. A little *push* might be necessary. I concentrate on Rhyhorn and cast a genjutsu over him. Much like all the other’s I’ve placed on him, this one isn’t harmful. But unlike the others, this one *really* changes his perception. With this genjutsu, Rhyhorn’s perception of reality warps drastically. It’s like I set his field of view to max, giving him the illusion that he’s charging must faster than he is, while at the same time making the world seem so much smaller. This makes him feel like a *giant*, charging towards the *puny* earth pillars with speed that could make even an Arcanine blush. Of course, my technique hadn’t actually made him faster. The intention was only to give him the motivation to try his hardest, and if things didn’t work out then I’d make him think they did anyways. Y’know, the usual jonin deception when we’re trying to make a genin gain more confidence in themselves. Confidence is important. It’s not meant to directly help him, relying on borrowed power is a habit you should never instill in a student or else they become reliant on it. To my surprise, however, Rhyhorn actually gains in speed. At first I think it’s just the confidence playing it’s part, but then the sheen of light brown around him glows even stronger, and the earth beneath him begins to crack with each step. Okay, this goes beyond confidence, what the hell is—! Rhyhorn meets the pillars head on like a truck plowing through a group of future isekai heros. The first one shatters instantly upon the slightest contact with the energy coating him, and the next several are just the same. Rhyhorn loses a bit of momentum afterwards, but that’s only because he’s begun swinging his horn side-to-side mid-charge and slowing himself! He tears through the final stone pillar like it’s made of paper machete. With no more pillars to tear through he comes to a stop, the light brown energy dispersing, and he rises onto his hind legs. “GRROAAAR!” His body starts glowing white and flashing with power. Is he evolving already!? A few seconds pass as the glow alternates between growing stronger and dimmer like a strobelight. Finally, the white light around him shatters. Rhyhorn’s front legs fall back the ground, cracking the earth beneath him. He hadn’t evolved. I guess that mean’s he’s close, but not quite there yet? Eh, I’m okay with that. It’ll let me enjoy his puppy stage longer. Although it would have been funny to challenge Koga for my first badge and surprise his 0 badge team with a Rhydon. Rhyhorn turns around. His tongue lolls out of his mouth as he looks at me with a stupid smile, panting as if he’d just run a marathon. I bend down and pat my legs, prompting the good boy to come running over for his well-deserved reward. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s the goodest boy in the whole world?” “Groaar!” He awkwardly tips over to his side and rolls onto his back, exposing his softer—but still rock-hard—underbelly to me. The intention is obvious, and I give him the fierce belly rubs he so craves. “It’s you! You’re the good boy!”