>Be Jonah, sat at home on the couch watching TV
>Gabby is off on some ‘official Angel Hare business’, Zaggy is doing his own thing somewhere, and Francis is out in the backyard burying acorns…or something like that.
>It’s a quiet day for a change, just you, the tv, and a half eaten can of pringles.
>You take a moment to look around.
>Weird.
>You’re so used to living around Angel Hares and whatever Francis is, you feel awkward to be left alone.
>You reckon you might as well enjoy the peace while it lasts.
>Fidgeting and slouching into a comfy position, you get back to watching Star Trek.
>Oh Chief Engineer Tucker, how you do love your catfish.
>Suddenly the TV starts to flicker.
>Damn-uh I mean, blasted machine. Old thing needs replacing.
>Before you can do anything, the screen freezes. Both Tucker and Dr Phlox are frozen mid conversation.
>Great. You wonder if Gabby could maybe heal it or run some miracle, something better than forking out a few hundred for a new TV.
>The room turns dark.
>That’s odd, the weather said it’d be clear skies all day and it’s only 12pm.
>You stand up to look out the window…there’s nothing out there.
>It’s a black void as far as the eye can see.
>WHAT THE FUCK
>There’s a red light now, emanating from the TV, getting brighter and brighter.
>Phlox and Tucker are no longer aboard the Enterprise, instead the backdrop is just pure red.
>Suddenly Tucker and Phlox spin around to face you, black liquid pouring out from their eyes and mouths and noses, the air is filled with an inhuman shriek.
>You bring your hands up to your ears to try and block the sound, it hurts so much.
>The liquid is oozing out of the TV now, running down the front and pooling on the carpet below.
>Sweet Lord! Where is Gabby when you need her?!
>A powerful odor of sulfur fills your nostrils, overpowering your lungs.
>Something is…something is rising slowly from the pool of black liquid!
>It’s…no…
>oh no no no no no!

>While its eyes are closed, the form is unmistakable.
>Light blueish grey fur.
>Long ears.
>Cotton nose.
>A pair of buck teeth protruding from the top lip.
>Robes as black as midnight that seemed to suck in the red light from around it.
>A Daemon Hare.
>Its eyes flick open, revealing yellow orbs that radiate malice.
>They hone in on you and it’s like they can see every single thing you have ever done in your life.
>There is pure hatred in those eyes.
>Pupils that are endless pits of despair and have the feeling of a hopeless desolation that seems to gnaw at your very soul.
>”Where is he?”
>It was female.
>The Daemons voice was like that of bone splintering and furnaces roaring.
>It was a voice of torment and torture, every syssable bringing pain and blurred vision.
>Dear Lord please help me…
>”WHERE. IS. HE?”
>”Wh-who?” You manage to reply feebly.
>You quickly snap up the nearby pringles can and hold it aloft defensively.
>”Who-whoever you are, stay back! I have friends…holy friends!”
>Your entire body is quivering with fear at the sight of the Daemon.
>Honestly? What can you really do?
>”When Gabby and Zaggy get home, you’ll-you’ll be-”
>Her eyes narrow and the can in your hand bursts into flames.
>With a yelp you toss it away, watching as it lands on the carpet and melt.
>”Zaggy…So Zagzagel IS here.”
>Her mouth twists into a cruel grin, as though this is exactly what she wanted to hear. Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that.
>Her grin was stretching now, her eyes began to widen as she stares at you menacingly.
>Despite still being the same size, it felt like she was towering over you now.
>She called out in a booming thunderclap of a voice.
>”Friend of Zagzagel my sworn enemy, know that I shall wreath such sundry torments upon your soul.”
>”I shall break you, both in mind and body. A husk is all that shall remain.”
>”You will be the tool I will use to summon forth my most hated adversary.”
>”He will not save you. He cannot. Soon you shall-”
>Another voice can be heard!”
>”Hey! You cut that out!”

>You spin, turning around to see Zaggy halfway down the stairs, leaning over the banner and pointing at the Daemon Hare.
>”It’s me you’re after, not him. Leave the mortal alone and fight me like a man-er woman!”
>Wait he was upstairs the whole time?!
>The Daemon steps forwards towards him, arms outstretched as black tendrils seemed to flare up around her.
>”Ah my adversary. So this is where you reside now? I shall take great pleasure in profaning these walls with your blood.”
>Zaggy began making his way down the stairs now, arms swinging as he libmered himself up.
>Wait, was he glowing now?
>”Yeah yeah, you said something similar last time, and the time before that. Honestly you need better material…and a brush, your fur is a mess Beezy.”
>”STOP CALLING ME THAT!”
>The Angel Hare turned to face me.
>”Uh kid, you might wanna take cover. Things are about to get pretty intense….eugh if only I had my revolver from the show. Would make this way easier.”
>You nod and quickly scramble back over and behind the couch.
>As you do so you have just enough time to see Zaggy surge forward, a glowing sword now in his hands.
>From behind the couch, you see bright flashes on the wall as more shrieking and shouting fill the air.
>White.
>Red.
>White.
>Red.
>You hear Zaggy grunting and the Daemon mocking him in triumph, only for there to be the ring of steel and now the sounds of the same but in reverse as Zaggy taunts his foe.
>This goes on for several minutes and against your better judgment, you take a peek over the couch.
>”Goodness gracious!”
>Through the blinding mixture of holy and profane light, you can just make out the sight of Francis flying through the air and smashing through a nearby window before it becomes too intense and you go back down, maddingly rubbing the itching burning spots from your eyes.

>A gout of flame shoots over the couch, burning the spot you were just at moments ago.
>A few seconds later and Zaggy appears, flopping onto the floor by the couch.
>He’s scrambling forward, sword in hand before a mass of inky black tendrils wrap around his shoulders, dragging him back.
>”I’m not done with you yet Angel.”
>The sounds of battle (and worse, your furniture being destroyed) play out for several long minutes more.
>Then…
>...
>Silence.

>You gingerly peak out over the couch once more.
>The room is empty.
>Scorch marks and slashes line the walls.
>Nothing is unscathed.
>The living room is totally ruined.
>Fuck.
>You notice through the Francis broken window that the sky is normal now.
>You’re back…You’re safe.
>You hope at least.
>You wonder what happened to Zaggy though.
>You begin to panic.
>What if that monster dragged him away to Hell? Oh Gabby is gonna freak!
>You look around, wondering what you can do other than simply wait for Gabby to come back.
>The front door bursts open and a tired, roughed up Zaggy limps in, sword lazily dragged behind him.
>It’s cutting the rug…
>The Angel Hare is panting, covered in cuts and bruises and it looks like steam is emanating from his body.
>With some effort he hauls himself onto the couch and lets the sword drop with a heavy sigh.
>”Daemon Hares Jonah…Nothing but trouble.”
>He looks awful, but you’re just grateful he’s still alive.
>”Zaggy! You’re alive! I-who WAS that?!”
>He turns to face you and waves a hand dismissively. “Oh her? Ah that’s just Beelzebub.”

>What…
>”Yeah we’re sworn enemies. She just shows up sometimes and tries to kill me. ‘I’ll destroy you and all you care about’ Eh, it’s a thing we’ve had going on for a while.”
>”How long?”
>”Oh a couple of thousand years. If I recall correctly, our first fight was about six thousand years before you guys built those pyramids, give or take.”
>”I…wow.”
>”We usually fight to a standstill. She’s no slouch, I’ll give her that. Still, she hasn’t killed me yet as you can see.” He smirked to himself, taking some satisfaction in the fact.
>”Zaggy half your ear is missing.”
>The Angel reaches up, finally noticing that yes, one of his ears was missing about half its length.
>The wound seemed to glow brightly and you now catch small whiffs of vanilla.
>”Oh that? It’ll be fine, it just takes some time to grow back, but I’ll be as good as new in no time.”
>”I think she came out worse than I did this time. I managed to get a good stab in her chest. She never expected me to throw Francis at her. Won’t work a second time though sadly.”
>...
>”Zaggy…does this happen…often?”
>”Mhmm yeah. At least once a week.”
>”Is-is she going to come back?!”
>“Oh definitely. You might wanna get some insurance, kid. This place is gonna get torn to shreds on a pretty regular basis.”
>Oh that’s just great…
>”Hey what’s with the Beezy name anyway?”
>”Eh, I just say it to annoy her. Three thousand years and it still gets under her skin. I think I’ll keep at it.” The Angel Hare smirks smugly to himself, even as glowing golden blood runs down his face.

>Be Daemon Hare Beezy.
>Ten miles away on a hill overlooking the town.
>Your body aches.
>You’re covered with slashes and gashes.
>Your breathing is ragged and one eye is blurry.
>You taste infernal blood in your mouth and radiant burns still sizzle your unholy flesh even now.
>Red hot rage courses through your body.
>You almost had him this time.
>Almost.
>Soon though. Yes soon you will have him.
>You can see it now, the great Angel Hare Zagzagel brought low before you.
>Chained.
>Dominated.
>His will broken. His body shackled.
>Yours to do as you please.
>You savor the thought of pinning him down, subjecting him to torment and pain.
>Your very own plaything, unable to stop you from sinking your teeth into his neck as he writhes under you.
>A dozen images flash in your mind.
>All of them Zagzagel bound and helpless before your unholy might.
>You grin as it all plays out in your head, Zagzagel thrashing as you slide a hand up that dark grey furred body, grabbing his chin and forcing him to face you, before finally pressing your lips to his and-
>You shake your head, banishing the thoughts with a growl.
>Disgusting.
>As if you would ever…
>No!
>Of course not!
>As if you would ever do…THAT, with some vile uppity Angel.
>You would sooner rather cut off your own ears than do any do any of the acts that were still definitely playing out in your mind…despite your best efforts.
>You look at the severed ear in your hand, careful to avoid the liquid gold dripping out of the end.
>You hold it up to your nose.
>SNIIIFFF.
>Your mind momentarily goes foggy when his scent hits you.
>Your infernal heart begins to beat faster and your body quivers with anticipation of the future hunt.
>It helps to familiarize yourself with your prey's scent.
>It keeps you focused and on track.
>”Soon Zagzagel.” You vow.
>”Soon I’ll have you. Beaten and broken before me. This I swear.”
>”I swear by the fiery pits of Hell itself.”
>”You will be mine.”